Brazil finds peace with money after years ‘responsibly broke

“A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life.” That quote by Suze Orman reflects a lesson one woman learned after years of struggling with money.

Growing up, the author’s parents often fought over money because they had little of it. Her mother was an occasional spender, while her father would make her wear shoes a size too small just to save money. The tension at home grew, and eventually the father demanded the mother hand over her entire salary. She had to ask for an allowance even for menstrual pads or coffee. The author now recognizes that dynamic as financial abuse.

When her mother left her father, she struggled to support the family because she earned less than her husband had. Still, she wanted her children to have more. The author remembers a day when she was twelve years old. Her mother took her to a clothing store called Mango. The author loved that store but could never buy anything there because it was too expensive. She spotted a simple black sweater and begged her mother to buy it. The price was around $20, about the weekly grocery budget. Her mother gave in. As they stood at the register, the author looked at her mother and could literally feel the stress of spending that money. Her excitement turned into guilt and shame. That moment, she later realized, made her unconsciously decide she was not worthy of having more money or making good money.

Years later, during healing work, she understood that small moments shape how people see money and whether they believe they deserve it. At first, the effect seemed positive. In her twenties, she became an extreme saver. At twenty-two, she moved to the United States as an au pair. She lived with a generous family and managed to save money, believing she was good with money.

After her year as an au pair ended, she moved to Florida on her own. She began to learn how the financial system works in the U.S. Her husband at the time told her she needed to build credit. She got her first credit card. That was when her saving habits started to weaken. The standard of living in Slovakia was different from the U.S., and she started from zero. Working as a customer service representative, she spent money on manicures, pedicures, haircuts, and living what she saw as the high life in America. At the end of the month, she had little left.

The breaking point came with a tooth emergency. She woke up with her right side swollen and rushed to the dentist. She had insurance but did not know she would have to pay a large portion out of pocket. After the emergency was handled, she stood at the reception desk and handed over her insurance card. The receptionist told her the out-of-pocket cost was $1,600. She froze. She did not have that money. The receptionist offered a payment plan. That was the start of her debt cycles.

She could blame the system or the lenders, she says, but that was only a small part of the equation. After about eight years of personal loans, medical debt, a car loan, and six credit cards, she hit rock bottom and filed for bankruptcy. She could not understand how she was responsible and capable in other areas of life but failing with money. Even her payment history was perfect. She later joked that she was responsibly broke.

Bankruptcy became a turning point. After her case was settled, she sat in her studio apartment and asked herself how she got there. She identified three things: she never healed her money blocks and beliefs, which affected her income; she refused to educate herself about money; and she used debt to finance a lifestyle she could not afford.

She made a commitment to never again be in that position. She bought her first financial book, Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. One first step he suggests is saving $1,000. She could not see how she would do it, but she started with $50, then $100, then $200, and within two months she saved her first $1,000. That achievement was less about the money and more about self-trust and rebuilding confidence in her choices. She felt more capable and reliable with money.

Over the years, step by step, she made healthier financial choices. She opened her first brokerage account and started investing. She decided to stay away from credit cards no matter what points system they offer.

Address your financial trauma

Whether people grew up with money or without it, many have financial limiting beliefs that hold them back. Five minutes in a clothing store with her mother at age twelve directed another twenty years of financial stress. Money directly affects the nervous system and mental and emotional well-being. For people living in poverty, financial stress is inevitable. But for many, living paycheck to paycheck comes from bad financial habits, a negative relationship with money, and a lack of financial knowledge. Addressing that relationship can help uncover deeper wounds, such as feelings of unworthiness or a desire for validation. Money problems are often symptoms of a deeper issue.

Spirituality and money can coexist

The author grew up atheist and later developed a certain obliviousness toward money when she explored spirituality. She saw money as materialistic and not belonging in the spiritual world. She later realized that spirituality became another way to avoid her financial trauma, justifying that she was above money and could manifest her way out of being broke. She does not minimize attraction or manifestation but says it is important to be practical and logical with finances. The hardest lesson was that she cannot reach higher states of consciousness or heal trauma when stuck in survival mode and her nervous system is paralyzed by fight-or-flight because she does not know how to pay rent next month. Survival needs must be handled first.

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